Teen Dating Awareness Month

February isn’t just about hearts and romance: it is also Teen Dating Awareness Month, and Attorney General Peter F. Kilmartin is urging teens, parents and educators in Rhode Island to learn about the signs of dating abuse so that they can prevent it. As part of the national That’s Not Cool campaign (www.thatsnotcool.com), Attorney General Kilmartin is reaching out online and through social media to help kids recognize the signs of digital dating abuse.

Dating, domestic and sexual violence affect people of all ages, but teens are especially vulnerable as they are just starting to date. Recent statistics show that one in three young people experience some form of dating abuse, and that one in three teens knows someone who has been hit, slapped, punched, kicked or physically harmed by a partner. Physical abuse is usually the most obvious form of abuse, but dating abuse can also be emotional and psychological. And, in today’s increasingly technology-based society, a newer form of abuse has emerged: digital dating abuse. It can include unwanted, repeated calls or text messages, breaking into email or social networking accounts, or being pressured to send private or embarrassing pictures or videos.

What Are the Warning Signs of Abuse?

There are many warning signs of abuse, but here are ten of the most common:

• Checking your cell phone or email without permission
• Constantly putting you down
• Acting extremely jealous or insecure
• Having an explosive temper
• Demanding to know where you are and who you are with all the time
• Isolating you from family or friends
• Undergoing large mood swings
• Physically hurting you in any way
• Being possessive
• Telling you what to do

A newer form of dating abuse is digital abuse: kids are online, blogging, instant messaging and texting, and abusers are able to use that technology for harassment. Over 80 percent of teens age 15-17 now have a cell phone, and 70 percent use social media sites. Since these technologies are so new, many parents are totally unaware of the prevalence of digital abuse.

One in four teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed or put down by their partner through cell phones and texting. Thirty percent of teens have been text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner wanting to know where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. Sixty eight percent of teens say that boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing photos/videos on cell phones and computers are a serious problem.

It is important for young people to understand the difference between affection and obsession, and that no one – regardless of age or gender – should be subject to abuse. Teens often don’t realize that abuse isn’t always physical. Pressuring for risqué photographs, excessive and unwanted text messages, hacking into email or social media accounts – these are all forms of abuse. I want kids and parents to learn how they can prevent teen dating violence. Through education and awareness, we can work together to break the cycle of violence, which all too often leads to tragic consequences.

Violent relationships have serious consequences for victims – putting them at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, suicide and adult re-victimization. Now is the time to educate ourselves about the seriousness of teen dating violence and the prevalence of this epidemic in our lives.

The national That’s Not Cool campaign was created by Futures without Violence (formerly known as the Family Violence Prevention Fund), in partnership with the Advertising Council and the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence against Women, and is designed to help teens recognize and prevent digital dating abuse.

Create a Teen Safety Plan

Recognizing Teen Dating Abuse

Teen Dating Abuse Resource List

Teen Dating Violence Fact Sheet